Changes

Blog 23
In My Ears - Paul Weller

This is a long time coming...I am finally back on track. A lot has happened in the last few months and life is getting ready to change even more. Packing it up and selling the rest off - leaving Canada moving to Bermuda. So excited, yet so sad to be leaving my family and friends behind...but come on the world is small and proximity does not make or break friendships like it did when we were kids.

Change was once my biggest fear and now I embrace it. Always evolving is the only way to be...have to grow everyday, learn something new and be ready to take some chances. So this is where I find myself now, a whole new chapter...and yes I guarantee lots of randomness will ensue. xx

Peace

Blog 22

In My Ears – David Bowie

From my home office window I can only see the tops of the trees but they are all laden with fresh snow and it is so beautiful.  There is something so calming about waking up to the crisp clean white of new snow…everything is silent and peaceful…I am going to carry this feeling with me today.

Lots of Randomness

Blog 21

In My Ears – Robert Cray

There is not really one thing in particular but rather my mind is full of all sorts of random thoughts…here we go:
       

The Olympics: I’m over it; actually I never got on it.  I don’t get all the excitement?  Billions of dollars are spent on these games and for what…is it really going to help the world in anyway to know who the best “ice dancers” are?  Just wondering?  Maybe I missed something

Hot Vacations: You live in the cold north and have planned a trip to some where nice and hot…fantastic…but…its still –18 in Toronto so why in the hell are you wearing shorts and a tank top at the airport…give me a break, change on the plane or just wait until you get there…this just drives me nuts…so when leaving paradise will you be waiting at the gate in winter boots and a parka…no, these are the same idiots that arrive back in their summer clothes…just another thing that bothered me when traveling.

Mass Hysteria or Midlife Crisis: no need to really say much on this just wondering which one it is that we all seem to be dealing with right now?

This is all very negative…I am going to work on positive thoughts… who knows, by this afternoon I could be walking around in my summer clothes cheering on a curling team.

No place like home…

Blog 20

In My Ears – Sade

I am always so excited to go away…I turn into a kid counting down sleeps until departure…the funny thing is not too long after arriving at the chosen destination I start longing for home…I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss my bed, I hate everything I have packed…none of this stops me from having a great time when I am away but it is always there in the back of my mind, a little ache in my heart. So my time comes to a close and I hop on a few planes and I am home again…I am not sure what it is I expect to find when I arrive home, but nothing changes…its home, it’s the constant in my life…I have been grounded again, surrounded by love…24 hours later my mind starts to wander…how soon is too soon to go away again?

Sabbatical

I have been negligent on my randomness as of late...currently in Bermuda looking for the sun (don't be jealous its not here)...Will be back in action on the 16th. Lxx

Should it stay or should it go?

Blog 19

In My Ears - Maxwell

You would think that I have never travelled before…I have become incapable of packing…the second guessing of items has consumed my mind for the better part of 2 days…who are these people that go away for months and months with just one carry on bag (my aunt and uncle are doing it and I just can't get my head around it)…will I really wear 4 black cardigans…probably not, but what if I get there and I want one of them?  It could be warm during the day, but I know it will be cool at night, is rain forecasted?  So now I am packing for all possible weather situations.  How many pairs of shoes do I need…all right…how many do I want (all of them!)?  My carry on luggage has been purged of all books and magazines and is now full of shoes and extra clothes.  Oh shit, I have completely forgotten about all the toiletries…all my lotions and potions have to come…I haven’t even thought about my makeup bag yet…crap…hair dryer…where am I going to put all this.  I need to start from scratch…take everything out and with a critical eye remove the unnecessary…who am I kidding, I need all of it!!!  Anxiety is starting to set in…I am going to get pissed off soon…ok time to be rational…you have access to a washer and dryer so 3 pairs of jeans is a bit over the top…do I need 17 pairs of underwear…fine, 2 black cardigans in the suitcase and I will wear one on the plane…alright a book just made it back in the bag…screw it, I am getting the second suitcase out and I am going to pack even more clothes…ahhh feeling much better now…I wont have to worry about “what if I get there and need…” Now, how am I going to fit these bags into the car…I better call ahead and make sure they have the trunk cleared out to accommodate my luggage…remind me to never ever travel for any extended period of time as that might require me to ship trunks ahead of time.

TV Land

Blog 18
In My Ears - Peter, Bjorn and John

This is a little off track from what I was going to write about today but I am listening to PB & J “Young Folks” and I am always amazed at the whistling…I love it!!! Maybe its because I just can’t whistle a tune…I have always wanted to be able to whistle especially one of those really loud ear piercing ones…OK…enough of that…it has been a quiet few days and I have not been very inspired, but as I spent the better part of an hour last night flipping through the thousands of channels on my TV, I guess its safe to say I am not the only one who is uninspired…honestly, I couldn’t find something to watch and enjoy to save my soul from hell…what is all this crap…I don’t care that you weigh 450 lbs; that you have no fashion sense; that you are “little people” who rescue pit bulls…don’t get me wrong there is indeed some quality TV out there, but last night it was all eluding me…is there a special section of channels that I don’t know about that plays host to all the “good” shows…if there is please let me know!!!! Maybe I will forsake TV and really put an honest effort into the whistling thing.

Book ‘em Danno!

Blog 17

In My Ears - David Bowie

This is a bit of a continuation from JC’s blog about the new Apple iPad…I refuse to extol the virtues of Apple because really, I don’t give a shit…it was JC’s love of books that got me thinking…I too am a lover of books…I love to be the first one to crack the spine of a book… I could spend hours in a book store and possibly days in a used book store hunting for hidden treasures where I am sometimes treated to a beautiful inscription…I love the ceremony of turning the pages, sometimes as quickly as possible to get to the next page…there is a sense of accomplishment and sometimes sadness when you turn that very last page…I have on more than one occasion flipped the book over and read it again. I often have 3 or 4 books on the go at the same time…jumping back and forth between them depending on what the mood of the day is. W. Somerset Maugham’s, Of Human Bondage is my most favourite book, and I have read it once a year for the last 20 years…so I was very dubious of the e-reader when I received it as a gift last year…I quickly dismissed it as a great gift idea but not for me…I was wrong. I now have a library of books at my fingertips…my carry on luggage can actually be carried now that it is not ladened down with books…it is so convenient and a great addition to my life…I am still a ferocious purchaser of books and some books can only be appreciated on paper… but…an e-reader is a great companion to my books and will never be a replacement for them

Did I really just say that?

Blog 16

In My Ears – Lady Gaga

So, its official…Kelly and I are podcasting and can be found on the Skittish Bison  site  and iTunes (Lakecast)…and to keep in line with the blogging it is TOTALLY RANDOM…I don’t know what happens when we get on the mic but some of the shit that we say…oh my god…I often find myself thinking…did I really just say that?  I think the mic some how scrambles all my internal censors or just the simple ability to think it before I say it…not quite sure what it is…essentially these are conversations that we would have offline, but we have decided to record them and send them out into the world.  At the end of the day we have lots of laughs doing them and more then a few cocktails…it has become our standing Thursday night date…god help all those who listen when we get Michelle linked in, the three of us together are a dangerous combination…stay tuned…I am sure the rating will have to be changed from EXPLICIT to XRATED…sorry Mom.

The older we are the harder we fall…

Blog 15
In My Ears – The Beatles

First fall of the year has finally happened…thought I was in the clear and would get through this winter unscathed, but some nasty black ice under new fallen snow got the best of me today…and provided me with a nice crack on the head and elbow. Even better was that I had an audience…word of the fall has spread like wild fire…just got a call from my Dad asking me about the fall…must be a slow news day. Might take to wearing a helmet just in case…so at happy hour tomorrow if you can’t find me I will be the one at the bar wearing the dashing Bauer.

Idiots with no Savant

Blog 14
In My Ears – The Commodores

Do you know what would be a really great idea???? Trust me these are dangerous words that I tend to utter well after midnight when all traces of savant have left my body and I am left to contend with the idiot. I must assume that whoever is with me at these fateful moments, usually Ali, is in the same boat as I am, as they always seem to agree it is a great idea and that we should move full steam ahead...for example...after copious amounts of Stoli a couple bottles of pink wine even if its called Ménage à Trois, not a great idea; keeping the party going until the sun is up and the birds are out, not a great idea; poutine, never a great idea...I think you see where I am coming from. Unfortunately, the flaws in these plans never come to light until much later the same day when I am contemplating calling a doctor to have the bed surgically removed from my back...and then the memories start flooding back...highly fragmented, but still enough to get the jist of what transpired before sleep. What idiot thought that would be a great idea??? The safe bet is usually me!!

The Season of Will

Blog 13

In My Ears – The Band – The Last Waltz

For you Marissa…..

I long ago gave up any affiliation with the “Church” and religion in general.  I believe in many things and still have an unwavering faith in the inherent goodness in people; but there is one observance that I still hold onto – Lent - 40 days and 40 nights of prayer and self denial…in other words a super fun time!!!!  I have a new take on Lent and you will see why I love it…Years ago I had an inclination to attend Ash Wednesday mass and wear the badge of repentance…don’t ask me why, because I still don’t know…Seated behind a huge pillar in a packed Cathedral, we were unable to see the Service, but no worries all was ticking along as expected until the sermon began…. I cannot even begin to tell you what it was that the priest was saying, but what I can be sure of is that I will never forget the sound and inflection of his voice.  This had to be a joke…could Will Ferrell really be here trying out a new character.  Elbowing Marissa, I had to share this observation…giggles gave way to laughter and the rest of the mass was a blur.  From that moment on Lent became synonymous with Will Ferrell, which soon gave birth to “THE SEASON OF WILL”.  The Season of Will is something I now look forward to every year…no more denial for me…I give up WILLPOWER for Lent…it is a wild ride – 40 days and 40 nights of debauchery and pure indulgence; great parties, vacations, anything goes…Mardi Gras never ends…You can have as much cow bell as you want!!!! So as I count down to February 17^th, feel free to spend some time pondering the wonders of The Season of Will – we will kick it off with a pancake feast on the 16^th and wake the next day with full bellies and a world of possibilities in front of us.

Bribery…LOVE IT!!!

Blog 12

In My Ears – Vampire Weekend

Whoever says you shouldn’t bribe children are first and foremost idiots and obviously childless!!  How would we ever bend their iron will our way?  Hell if it wasn’t for bribery my kids might still be pissing their pants…they certainly would not sleep through the night…and any outing would be impossible.  There is no denying it bribes work.  Bribery is not the exclusive domain of parent and child…we all do it, we bribe friends and lovers, we all want our own way – its human nature (has nothing to do with nurture). Come on how many of you really really love your job?  Would you just do it for the pure love of it or for the satisfaction of a job well done…I DIDN’T THINK SO…what do you think a paycheque is…it’s a bribe … if you come in every day and do your work to a reasonable level we will give you this money.  We accept this bribe because the money we receive allows us to do whatever it is that we really love and more importantly it gives us the means to bribe others…it’s a vicious circle and we all play it and we all secretly love it and love to be the Briber!!!   

Tattoo Therapy

Blog 11
In My Ears – Mary J. Blige

I can’t deny it…I am addicted to Tattooing (of course this comes as no surprise to those who know me). My many have come together to form a few – a few that cover quite a bit of real estate on my body. They all have a story and are deeply personal – my tattoos are an expression of my inner being – no need for words, the art says it all. I provide the canvas and Kathy provides the art…but there is so much more to it…Kathy has become my spiritual advisor – 2 hours spent in her chair is better than 6 months of therapy. I am guided to look inward, reflect and move forward…the energy is so powerful!!!

The tattoos document my journey…

Tattoo Therapy is good for the soul.

Dear...Love...P.S.

Blog 10
In My Ears – Magnolia Electric Co.

BFF, LOL, TTYL, ROTFLMFAO… REALLY!!!!!!!! I cant lie I have thrown out a few LOLs in my day, but all the acronyms are out of control…I wandered onto a Facebook page of a friend of the family who happens to be in high school…seriously, I had no idea what they were saying… WTF is going? Text language has taken over…imagine what these kids essays must look like? I think back to when I was a teenager (yes a long ago time in a land far far away), it was all about the telephone…the LAND LINE (do kids today even know what that is)…we would burn up the lines all night long…my sister took it to whole new heights - her own phone line in her room, the family phone (cordless, we were pretty cutting edge) in her room, call waiting on both, feasibly she could have 4 conversations going at one time - and believe me she did. Hours were spent talking on the phone…once off the phone there were notes and letters to be written…you had to have your notes ready for school the next day…start it all off right so you can spend the rest of the day writing back and forth…imagine if we had kept all those notes (actually I do have some friends that have boxes of them…how much fun would it be to read them now…we were oh so DRAMATIC and always in love.) When I moved to the U.K. for University, all this letter writing came in handy especially after my first, and might I add only, £1,000 telephone bill…I became a regular at the post office…got to know all the OAPs (Old Age Pensioners)…I was the worlds greatest pen pal. Telephone was used for local, emergency and drunk dial calls back to Canada. A friend introduced me to email one day on campus and that was it for the pen and paper, email was just the greatest thing ever … real time conversations, no longer did I have to wait for the replies in the post, I was VIRTUAL baby!!! I never imagined that it would get any easier then that…well HELLOOOOOO texting…I have friends now that I don’t even call, all we do is text…if by chance we do call each other, thoughts immediately go to panic…what has happened, it must be huge if she is calling. I don’t miss the hours on the phone…its great to get right to the point, but as time passes and my mail is full of bills, I long for letters…there is something about putting pen to paper and beautiful stationary; it truly is a lost art…I am going to start writing letters again…P.S. I will text you when I mail them and over the weeks it takes for them to arrive I am sure I will tell you all my great news…but at least you will receive a hand written account of it to save.

The Bitches

Blog 9 

In My Ears – Chris Cornell – Unplugged in Sweden

I am truly blessed in so many aspects of my life – great family, wonderful kids and I have my Bitches.  These women are my nearest and dearest, I love them unconditionally.  The Bitches laugh and cry together.  We are each other’s cheerleaders; sounding boards; confidants…there are no times good or bad that we are not behind each other.  There is no need to call everyday, weeks can go by where we don’t see each other, but that does not mean that we are not in each other thoughts.  When we do get together its like only seconds have passed since our last meeting, we never miss a beat.  So Bitches…if you are reading this…I love you and I am thankful everyday to have you in my life.

TGIF!!!!

Blog 8
In My Ears – Rick Ross

“Monday morning you sure look fine. Friday I got travelin on my mind”

How I love Friday!!!! There is something about it, that just holds a world of possibilities for me…a great night out with friends, a quiet night a home with a good book or movie, a weekend away, sleeping in on Saturday…its just great…Monday comes around and I start to think about Friday. There is an excitement about it that starts to brew on Wednesday afternoon, by Thursday I know there is just one more day…and there it is…it always shows up at the same time each week…right when I need it most. I am energized, the trials and tribulations of the week fade away and then before I know it… 5:00 pm…quitting time. Tonight, I will race to meet treasured friends, enjoy a little happy hour here and a lot of happy hour there, indulge in a great meal, have tonnes of laughs…its Friday.

Lick the Soap

Blog 7
In My Ears – My Morning Jacket / Fleet Foxes

I have agreed to do some pod casting with Kelly and John at http://www.skittishbison.com ; this is definitely a first for me. Not sure how I feel about it…I hate to record the message on my answering machine…have always asked when I hear my recorded voice “do I really sound like that”. Shockingly, I have a rather high, girly voice…not the voice I hear in my ears…I always thought my voice had a bit of a Kathleen Turner-esque quality to it…in reality quite the opposite. So this should be an interesting endeavour for me…will I spend the entire time wondering what I sound like…probably initially, but really what I should be more concerned with is keeping my trucker mouth in check…on this blog I get the opportunity to edit – keep it clean…speaking, well that’s a whole other beast…I don’t ever think the “bad” words when I am formulating a thought they just come out…they are so ingrained in my vernacular that they have a mind of their own. I spend a lot of time telling my children to not say bad words, I have made them lick the soap, put hot sauce on tongues…yes I am a hypocrite…”do what I tell you, but be sure as hell not to copy what I say”. I can’t lie, my kids have made me lick the soap (so f*cking gross)…but as you can see it doesn’t work. I love to learn to swear in other languages…it does come in handy…I swear - that’s what I do and I make no apology for it.

River Dancing

Blog 6
In My Ears – Room Eleven / Paolo Nutini

Video games…they are for kids…or so I thought…then the those clever buggers found a way to suck me in…Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, Rock Band…are you kidding me...I’m hooked. The real obsession started with Dance Dance Revolution-ahhh DDR!!! It was quite a sad display at first, got booed off the mat…then it all clicked, my legs had a mind of their own…I didn’t even have to think about it they just knew what to. Two dance mats enter…alright a bit dramatic…the dance offs started…I competed against all the kids I know - ages ranging from 5 to 9 years…a victory is a victory, I didn’t seem to care who the competitor was…I must admit I did point and yell “in your face” to a few kids. Then a worthy opponent entered the arena (my living room)…we discussed the nuances of the game – bare feet, socks with grips or with out grips…this girl (my sister) was a pro. Ali and I started off slowly…got warmed up…then the dance frenzy started…I have to say we both held our own…in the end Ali did win and because she is related to me I got a much deserved “in your face”!!! Tired, drenched with sweat we made our way outside to the artic air to cool down. I think I should add at this point that we were not alone in the house, friends were over for drinks - we were getting our dance on and forgot all about them. Back in for another round… this time only one mat, let the other rest between songs…Ali was kickin’ it - she had all the right moves…my turn…feet again ON FIRE…then I caught a glimpse of myself in the TV screen…OH MY GOD…I am a River Dancer…I am the Lord of the Dance…Michael Flatley has nothing on me…my upper body did not move, not one inch…I don’t dance anymore…I am in a Band now…and we ROCK!!!

Listen

Blog – 5 –
In My Ears – Neil Young / Ray LaMontagne

This picture (Michelle and Pekka – Finland January 2010 – Living in The Gray) inspired today’s contribution.

Michelle posted this photo yesterday and told me that they are “Living in The Gray”…I love it Big Gray – Little People…but that was not my first thought upon receiving this picture…there were no words swirling around in my head, but rather my brain was filled with noise, or should I say a sound…one of my most favourite sounds… the crackle at the end of an album…I then started to picture the needle skipping across and the sound grew louder and louder in my head. If I close my eyes now I can still see Michelle and Pekka walking further into the gray as the sound fades away. I then started to reminisce about how much I miss vinyl…memories of rifling through my parent’s albums, discovering Led Zeppelin for the first time. Hours were spent being hypnotized by the covers. My favourite albums – Joni Mitchell “Blue”; Neil Young “Harvest”, The Rolling Stones “Sticky Fingers” and James Taylor “Mud Slide Slim and The Blue Horizon”, have long ago been replaced by cassettes, then cds and now mp3s, but they will never sound as good or evoke quite the same emotions as they do when heard on vinyl. Can you hear it…the album is over…the needle continues to skip across at the end…it is just the perfect conclusion to a magical listening experience.

Living in The Gray

Blog – 4 – Living in the Gray.
In My Ears – Bon Iver


I have always been a black or white person, in dress and in attitude. It’s either right or wrong, yes or no…I have never been a fan of the middle ground…will never win a medal for my skills in the compromise department. There have certainly been moments in my life when I have wandered into the gray zone…hung out there for a while...but I always come back home to what I know …my comfort zone. Well no more!!!! I am learning to live in the gray…I am going to be OK with OK…I am going to embrace comme ci, comme ça…I am going to breathe!!!!!

Just Call Me Heff!!

Blog – 3
In My Ears – Elvis Costello / Fleetwood Mac

The transition from going into the office everyday to working from home was virtually seamless. Wake up, actually eat breakfast at a table and not at the steering wheel and delicious hot coffee with as much cream as I desire. The commute is amazing…on occasion there can be some traffic found in the front hall if I don’t get on “the road” before the kids are leaving for school, but other than that the 14 steps to my offices is rather enjoyable. Working in jeans and T’s a dream come true. Soon the jeans were replaced by yoga pants – yoga pants replaced by jogging pants – do you see where this is going. Jogging pants - what’s the point, just wear pajama pants…not like anyone can see me. I have to admit that the clothes I am wearing does actually impact on my work…It’s interesting, when wearing flannel I am not as tense, tend not to fly off the handle as much (don’t get me wrong I do still flip out just not as often). Maybe I am on to something, should we start instituting pajama days at offices…see how the overall mood changes?? No one told me that the “at home” office attire is a slippery slope…what happens if I wear a nightgown to bed…am I expected to change into more “work appropriate pajamas”…of course not…a floor length Laura Ingalls nightgown will do just fine for the “office”. While taking a break one day, I wandered into my closet, perused my real world work clothes…so many dresses…I missed them…and then my eyes darted to the shoe rack…I haven’t had some of those lovelies on in months…Black satin Dior’s; snakeskin Gucci’s; those green Fluevog’s that just seem to go with everything; then there they were, the red and white Fendi’s – a heal so high they are almost dangerous- how I love them, they are a real crowd pleaser!!!! They must be feeling neglected…I better put them on…I better walk around in them…I better get back to work and work I did…what was it about the shoes everything seemed so much better that afternoon. So every so often I would try another pair out…an expensive shoe can really jazz up $20 pjs; and when partnered with the right nightgown, well that’s just something else. Something else indeed…especially when the door bell unexpectedly rings during the day, peek out the window, it’s a friend, no need to rush to change they have seen your pjs before…open the door and apologize for your lovely attire…To which they respond, “the shoes are fabulous”.

This is dedicated to Melissa and Cola who have taken to calling me Heff!!!

The Night Stand

Blog – 2
In My Ears – Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings / Jamie Cullum / Boz Scaggs
Smoking – YES PLEASE!!! But holding steady and still smoke free.

It must be the whole New Year thing, fresh start frenzy that has me going these days. Got ambitious and decided to clean out my nightstand … the catch all for all things – The Bedroom Junk Drawer. As I sifted through the gamut of items…cell phones, lego, pens, lighters, jewellery, books, business cards, money, paper, wrappers, remotes, lotions, potions, socks, gloves, the list is endless…I started to feel like I have been here before, it was a familiar place…then it dawned on me…my nightstand is really just an extension of my purse. As I looked down on the floor it was confirmed, surrounding the 3 drawers of treasures were numerous purses. The nightstand was like a docking station – the mother ship - a place they can go to unload, recharge, and hang with their like-minded friends. I have always said I could leave the house for days and never want for anything as long as I had my purse…just imagine if I travelled with my nightstand, I could embark on a proper tour. My mind started to make all sorts of comparisons to the contents of my purse and a piece of furniture. Then I looked on the top of the stand and decided to consolidate all the partially consumed glasses of water…one nice big full glass of water, the glass even felt cool to the touch…I am notorious for filling a glass, taking a sip and leaving it lying around…of course I conclude that this water must be from today…one big glass will get me one step closer to the 8 to 10 a day I am trying to achieve…and there it was … DUSTY WATER and that is where the list of similarities between my purse and nightstand ended. Random yes, but these are the things that occupy my mind and time at various points in the day.

The NonSmoking Smoker.

Blog – 1 – First blog EVER
In My Ears – Van Morrison and The Bird and The Bee

Like all good self respecting smokers, I too decided that 2010 would be the year that I quit…OK I will be honest, I got a cold over the holidays and couldn’t smoke and thought “maybe this is a sign”. Not wanting to be a cliché, the transition to non-smoker would not begin on January 1st. December 27th became the “chosen” date…would love to say this date was chosen for some divine reason but really it became THE DAY only because smoking with a cold on Boxing Day made me feel extra crappy on the 27th. I held it together until New Years Eve and well Jamie Foxx said it best “blame it on the a a a a a alcohol”. As soon as

the first delicious champagne bubbles entered my system all thoughts turned to my long time love. Really when I think about it, other then my parents, sister and a handful of friends my relationship with smoking has been one of my longest and might I say most successful ones to date. Smoking has never disappointed me – there were never any surprises. It has been my go to in good times and bad – there has never been an emotion that didn’t go hand and hand with a cigarette. I guess you could say smoking has been my perfect LBD (little black dress), it has always fit and was somehow always better after a big meal…WOW why am I putting myself through this why am I quitting????? Oh yeah, this perfect partner is the ultimate deceiver, the master manipulator…no matter how much fun we have had together, all the years behind us…its just waiting to turn on me, biding its time. Tricky little buggers have been laying the groundwork for years. Alright I am quitting….27th, 28th, 29th, 30th all great, no withdrawal, smooth sailing – of course this is due to a wicked cold not will power. Jumped off the wagon on the 31st, but really it wasn’t as catastrophic as it could have been kept it to a mere 7 or 8 cigarettes which is fantastic considering a night of drinks usually results in an entire pack down. So I too joined the ranks of all the January 1st quitters, but this is not a New Years Resolution (I don’t make those). So here we are January 6th, 5 days down and only 2 cigarettes – this to me is success, I am on the right track. So why did I start writing this…yes, that’s it…the NON SMOKERS SMOKERS COUGH…wtf…stop smoking develop a smokers cough…I have been assured by my doctor that this in fact is normal and is a good thing…it’s a spring cleaning for my lungs and wont last forever. The question that has been on my mind constantly since embarking on this lifestyle change is….will I ever really be a NONSMOKER or will I always be a SMOKER who just doesn’t smoke???